May Commitments: Textual Hiatus

The New York Times wrote an article recently about the lost art of conversation in the face of the technological world we now live in and are consumed by. There was nothing radically notable in the article. It said the things my friends and I have been conversing about for years now. Still, it hit me this time. It hit me in the way that made me want to act. It is so much easier to think about the problems of our world than to act on them. So, in an effort to make May a meaningful, learning month, I venture into a month with no texting. Of course, I already did this for two months while I was in Mexico. But, I was in Mexico. So, that was a good distraction. In the US, where I yearn to be connected to all those I love, choosing not to text is more of an effort. I have already caught my fingers in mid-leap toward the phone, pulling them back away from the keypad. They are left with that tingly tension of desire.

If I had not admitted it before, the tension in my fingers right now has shown me that I am a texter. I do not text to nearly the extent that my students do. I do not text with that many people even, but still, I feel attached to it. I look to my phone with expectation that it will deliver me a present from the world of my social network, and when there is nothing, I feel disappointment. I send out texts and hope for responses, feeling powerless in the in between time. Perhaps I am being a bit dramatic, but sometimes it feels dramatic. And that is exactly why I want to break that. I also feel like texting feeds a growing cowardice in me. In high school, my friends and I talked on the phone for hours, sharing our ideas and feelings, making plans, supporting each others’ dreams. My parents had to buy a second line to accommodate all our chatter. Now, phone conversations feel like work, and can even get wrought in anxiety. What do we do when we want to say bye? How will I transition from the casual conversation to why I am really calling? Is it ok to call just to talk to someone because I want to talk to someone? Do I need an agenda for the phone call? Will it be weird if I call someone if we have never done that before? And so to avoid any awkward silences and rude goodbyes, I text. I am not sure when I started getting scared of the phone, but I am sure that texting is not helping.

Increasingly, my networks are spread and I have less face time with those I most care about. I think that by being in text communication, we are connected. But, that connection is no proxy for real communication, authentic conversation, dialogue. In the month of May, I am challenging myself not to text, but also not to shy away from communication. To pick up the phone and call people I want to talk to. To send e-mails when I want to have a dialogue. I also do not want to be rude to those who do text me. Thus, I will respond... but in some other fashion. I recognize that the biggest limit is time. That most people who are not on a YOOT with a flexible life schedule are not reflecting about texting with this grandiosity. It is simply the most efficient way to communicate. That may be so. Still, time is always about priorities, and I am not convinced I just text to make things easier and faster… How often do we try to plan things via text only to realize a 30 second conversation would have done the trick?

But I wonder… will not texting promote more conversation or will I just end up less connected?