May Failures: Textual Hiatus

So... ummm... about that commitment not to text this month. I put it out there all public-like, and then the fifth of May happened. Hilary asked me to text her the address of where she was meeting me. I could not very well refuse her that. With the text of my address, it hit me, texting has a purpose in our world. And with that realization, a hard line stance on texting no longer made sense.

The next text I sent was to a good friend in Chicago. Most of my best friends are living in cities other than Cincinnati. Emma and I were both getting ready for our nights out in our respective cities, communicating via google chat. The best way to virtually share that experience is by sharing and commenting on each other's outfits. I tried to e-mail her the picture of my new dress. But, it was taking too long. Pic text sent.

Then, I sent a text to a friend who I realized would probably never listen to her voicemail that I had left several hours prior where I invited her out. I was right. When I texted, she texted right back.

Next, came the exchange with my new housemate who invited me to come back and play a game of Settlers of Catan yesterday afternoon. I felt like calling him back was just unnecessary given we are new friends, and this was his way of reaching out. Then, I was running a little late, so I texted to tell him I'd be back around 2:15. Clearly communicated, nothing more necessary.

Then, my boss texted me. I am doing some consultation work for Mikva. If your boss texts, you text back.

Up until the third transgression, I thought maybe I could still keep it going at least for another week. But, here I am, one week in, with too many transgressions to make the commitment legitimate any longer. So, I quit.

But, I do not quit without lessons learned. Turns out texting is not all bad. I never really thought it was, but I did maybe think it was more bad than it actually is. While this metaphor is a little drastic, my texting ban is somewhat like saying I am just going to write letters from now on, no more e-mails. While it is cool in theory, your friends might start to hate you for not responding to them. The thing is, people text. And it is convenient. The more voicemails I left, the less conversations I seemed to be having with people. Additionally, as a youth worker, I could not deny that part of me that knows text messaging is a legitimate form of conversation for many young people. Maybe in the 1990s we talked on the phone to share our deepest emotions, but the truth is teenagers can communicate a lot with their thumbs. Texting has found a comfortable spot in modern communication, and the refusal to use it when it is the right form makes me a luddite.

Thus, this is not a failure really. Sure, I did originally intend not to text for the entire month of May. As of today, or really Saturday, I am texting again. Still, I hope to maintain a level of intentionality. Sometimes we just need a little breather to reassess and then can move forward with a more balanced perspective. Let's be real here, I was never going to give up texting for good. So, here are my new texting commandments:

1. Choose phone call first in most cases: if you are choosing text because you are scared of the call, call.
2. Limit texting when with other people (or just don't do it at all).
3. If you are running late, text.
4. Information the recipient would need written down (i.e. addresses) should be texted.
5. Pictures make wonderful and practical texts, but once again, always consult # 2. If you are taking pictures and sending them to everyone in your life instead of sharing the moment with whomever you are with, you should probably at least wait to send the pic.
6. Do not text and drive, duh. 
7. Texting really can be such a present, but when there are constantly presents, they stop being as meaningful. Additionally, no one expects presents on any day other than your birthday, hence, don't look at your phone with baited expectation.
8. Always call parents.
9. Be wary of texting in new relationships, sarcasm, enthusiasm, flirtation, anger may not translate well.
10. Text with awareness.

First I failed my 10-day silent retreat, now my texting ban. I guess I really like to talk.