#4

Hopefully the final entry solely focused on this transition period (but no promises)!

Work. Adjusting, adjusting, adjusting. They say that time is all you need. I believe them. I am feeling that time is on my side. While, I’ve certainly had some terrible restless nights searching for my city-life, working-world orientation, this weekend settled me. I am learning SO much. In fact, I think I’ve been so preoccupied pining for the return of my academic life that I have ignored or refused to cherish the learning that is taking place every moment of my life. I realize that statement contradicts my last blog… but contradiction is only a sign of learning. It seems in politics people are always criticizing the changing of the mind. But, isn’t that what life is all about? Constantly changing the mind. So, yea, my mind is swaying, and I’m seeing the value of the glorious and the mundane. I’m understanding that while I may not be infused with passion for my new life yet, I am learning so much from how to analyze why people aren’t getting their flu shots to whether I want to be in a desk job long term to the Chicago transit system to the best dive bars in Wicker Park. All very important lessons in their own right.

I spoke with a friend recently who is very involved in the Obama campaign. Her life is on fire. She breathes, laughs, cries Obama. She is so happy and purpose driven. After speaking with her, I was very disarmed by my own state of mind. I wasn’t crying out with joy for how much I love what I am doing. She told me to quit my job, move to where she is and join the movement. After all, this is a critical moment. I was tempted. I cried about it. I asked myself, “Am I missing out on being part of something that I will forever regret?” “Is it cowardly to pursue this life when I know there is this other more exciting and relevant one out there?”

Grappling with this temptation forced me to really define why I am here, and what the hell my purpose is. I think that is the most important thing that has come out of this weekend. For a while, I have felt like this world was just happening to me. My goal was just to stay afloat. That is no way to live. Now, I am above water. I have accepted that this is a different world that is exhausting and sometimes lonely, but there is really nowhere else I’d rather be. I need to be in Chicago figuring out what direction I want to go with my career path. I am passionate about finding my passions. And, I am passionate about Obama, thus I will serve his campaign from the place I am in. But, I would have to argue the cowardly thing for me to do right now would be to run off from this life that I have hardly given a chance yet.

And there is a lot of good in this life. My latest routine includes weekly yoga, and…. Belly dancing! My roommate is a belly dancer, and our gym just started a class. On Saturday I did an hour of yoga followed by an hour of hip popping, snake arm swaying, and Egyptian walking. The instructor kept insisting that belly dancing is one of the most natural dances that exists. As I stood before the mirror trying to keep my butt tucked in, chest open, and shoulders back, I was not convinced. But after an hour of strutting across the floor, shakin’ my thang I understood how great it is to be a woman. It’s these little realizations that make all the difference in the world. So, yea, I’m adjusting. Adjusting my attitude toward my new life. Adjusting my technique of making friends (I exchanged numbers with two women this weekend… making friends in the real world is more stressful than dating!). Adjusting the physical capacities of my body with downward dog, biking, and now a little Middle Eastern dancing. While, I sometimes wish to be on some grand adventure around the world, I am slowly realizing that this adventure I am on right here in Chicago has the potential to challenge and teach me as much or more than have my many travels.